Common Misconceptions In Child Custody Battles: What Residents Of Suffolk County Need To Know

January 13, 2025

By David Badanes

In this article, you can discover…

The different types of custody that exist, including shared custody.
Whether an older child can choose which parent to live with.
If mediation is necessary or expected in all custody cases.

What Are The Different Types Of Custody?

There are two components in custody: legal custody, which involves decision-making for your child and residential custody, which involves where your child resides. Legal custody and residential custody are two different issues and each issue does not necessarily impact the other.

In deciding legal custody, either one parent has sole legal custody or both parents have joint legal custody. In a joint legal custody situation, both parents will make the important decisions impacting your child’s life, namely: educational decisions, medical decisions and religious decisions. Joint legal custody will also involve making extra-curricular decisions for the child. With joint legal custody, parents have to consult with each other prior to making these important decisions. In some joint legal custody situations, after consulting with one another, one parent might have the authority to make the “final” decision regarding the child.

In contrast, if one parent has sole legal custody, that parent will have full authority to make the important decisions for the child, without having to consult with the other parent.

Residential custody is usually given to one parent, meaning that your child lives with either you or the other party a majority of the time. “A majority” in this case could be anywhere from 51% of the time all the way to 100% of the time. In rare cases, residential custody can be split 50-50, with your child spending exactly an equal amount of time with both parents. Another way to consider residential custody is to consider it as which parent has parenting time with the child and when they have it.

What Would Joint Legal Custody Entail For My Family?

Joint legal custody means that both you and the other parent share decision-making for your child, regardless of who the child spends a majority or all of their time with. Joint legal custody impacts educational decisions, medical decisions, decisions about the kind of religious upbringing your child has, and even the kinds of extracurricular activities (such as soccer or piano lessons) your child participates in.

Is It True The Courts Always Favor Mothers In Custody Battles?

Absolutely not. The law is very clear that the courts can not favor one sex over the other insofar as to which parent is awarded custody. Over the years, I have seen many fathers get custody of their children. If a Judge has to make a decision regarding custody, the Judge will consider many issues (what it calls factors).

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Attorney David Badanes is a seasoned, respected family law attorney serving New York. For 20 years, he’s helped parents just like you understand New York child custody laws and fight hard for their children’s well-being and for their rights as a parent.

Have questions, or in need of legal help? Reach out to the Badanes Law Office at (631) 430-4445 for a free initial consultation today.

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Is It A Myth That A Child Can Choose Which Parent To Live With Once They Become A Teenager In New York?

In most cases, if your child is 16 years or older, they are likely to be allowed to live with their preferred parent. This is not a guarantee, but, many Courts are reluctant to tell a 16-year-old where to live. Once your child is 18, they are a legal adult and can absolutely choose who they live with.

However, there may still be cases where a judge rules that living with one parent over the other would genuinely be in your teenager’s best interests, in spite of what your child may want. This could be due to problems such as parental alienation or other serious issues.

Is It A Myth That New York Courts Always Award Custody To The Parent Who Remains In The Family Home?

The quick answer is that this is a myth. There are many factors that the Court will consider when it awards custody. The Court will consider the age of your child and how long your child has lived in the family home. For example, if your child is five years old or younger, they may not have the social, emotional, and educational ties to the family home that would make remaining there more practical.

However, an older child who’s more socially involved in their local school and has friends would likely benefit from the stability of remaining in the family home. In these cases, a judge may indeed grant custody to the parent still living there.

Is It True That Mediation Is Mandatory Before A Custody Battle In New York?

At this time, mediation is not mandatory in every court. While some courts strongly suggest that you and the other party go through mediation, it is generally not mandatory. In some cases, a judge may require you and the other party to attend at least one session of mediation, though this depends greatly on the court, the judge, and the background of your divorce.

What Is The Biggest Misconception About Child Custody Battles That You’ve Heard From A Client?

Many people wrongly assume that the presence of a drug or alcohol problem in their lives will automatically mean that they will not get custody. This is not always true. Parents with substance abuse issues in their past, especially if this problem existed many years ago and is not ongoing, can still be awarded custody of their children.

Even if your problems are more recent, undergoing treatment and making efforts to take care of yourself can go a long way with a judge. Simply having a substance abuse issue does not mean that being awarded custody is impossible.

Still Have Questions? Ready To Get Started?

For more information on Common Misconceptions In Child Custody Battles, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (631) 430-4445 today.